Last week was terrible in so many ways. I did no training at all. I became sick again and all the other stressors of life came down, at what seemed like one time. The perfect storm!
A week and a half ago I traveled to Cincinnati for my Aunt's funeral. Her passing was not unexpected, she had some health problems leading up to it, but are we ever really ready to say goodbye? It was great to see my family, unfortunate under these circumstances, but I was happy to see them none the less. I did not train over the weekend as a result of the traveling.
When I got back to work on Monday, I found out that someone dropped the ball on our work contract and there was a really good chance there would be a pause for up to 2 months without work. This is not good news as that would mean there is no income coming in and I am already stretched to the limit to pay for my race expenses. Then to top it off, I was kind of under the weather and this just dropped me. I felt defeated, all my motivation was gone. I was not sure what I was going to do. To be honest, I really did not want to get out of bed, much less go to work or train. I contemplated if what I was doing was a smart choice, if pursuing a professional career as a triathlete is an option, should I give it up. You don't make money at it, or even break even unless you are the best or close to the top, and I am certainly not there. I am at the bottom of the totem pole, so I spend a lot of money and don't make any. What am I do to? I had to stop and take one step at a time. I had to focus all my energy on what I needed to do at that moment and start to explore options if I did not have a job in a month.
I was not sure where to begin. But Dana was great. We sat down and chatted about our options. As she pointed out, maybe it is a blessing. Instead of being complacent, it forced me to look closer at my options and really start to think about what I would be doing after this job, what steps do I need to take. I guess I took it like any of my training. What is the goal of today? What is it that I need to accomplish right now to reach my ultimate goal. Fist thing first, I can't be sick and train. It does no good; it only breaks me down more. So take the time to get healthy, take the week of from training and see how I feel after the week is done. Second, explore options for income. So phone calls were made, what other jobs can I do or what can I do part time to bridge the gap. Third, relook at my budget and see where I can cut back if I need to and are all of my planned races needed. And I just went at it step by step, just like this. I can't say it was a complete turnaround in one single day or moment. I felt terrible all through the week and into Sunday with little to no motivation, but it had to be done, so I just plugged away at it. By Monday I decided to see how I felt in training and I got in and swam and I felt good. Off a bit, but still good. Then I had a bike. My coach and I got my on the computrainer and decided to cover up the wattage, MPH, and HR and just had me ride so that I would not obsess over the numbers. Warm up then 30 min strong effort. When we pulled it off I saw my average on my wattage, 349. Not bad for 30 min and not trying to do a 30 min all out effort (my best by killing myself is 356). Ok, now I am starting to feel some confidence come back. I am now starting to refocus. I think this is good for me as I will focus on the goals of the day in my training and not try to always do something crazy. There is a bigger picture, a larger goal that I always need to keep in mind.
A final note, looks like there will be a bridge contact and we will have a job in a month. It's not 100% and if we do there maybe a couple things that may change (and not for the better), but at least there is the financial means to continue what I am doing.
